My last post about my first kiss, triggered another torrid period of my life.
Although I have often said that I have only had two girl friends, there was another—more of a girl who happened to be a friend though. I have no idea how it all started, but every Sunday, I went to her house in New Haw for tea. Although her family were very nice to me, I didn’t really like the girl, but I didn’t know how to say no, so this went on for over nine months.
During this time, I never kissed her or even held her hand. I don’t know if I attract odd people, or it is me that is odd. But those Sundays were certainly very odd. First of all, the girl seemed to be intent on kissing me, she would keep puckering her lips as if she had a bit of toffee stuck in her teeth. But after the last misadventure in Drill Hall Road, I didn’t want any of that nonsense. After all I’m still only fifteen.
Her mother had a nice singing voice, and some evenings she would play the piano, her favourite song was ‘Come into the garden Maud’—not really my cup of tea, and unfortunately the piano had a few duff notes. I had to endure a few minutes of buttock clenching anticipation. Waiting for the odd plink plonk of the bad notes at crucial moments of the song. My buttocks have never been the same since.
Her father would have his bath in the evening and liked to have his back scrubbed, on one occasion I was asked if I would like to do it for him. I would rather have had one of the mothers knitting needles stuck in my eye.
As if all of this was not enough, I was too shy to ask to go to the lavatory, so when I left to catch the ten o’clock bus home, I was desperate for a wee. I just about managed to hold out till I reached the privet hedge in her front garden. I tried to be discreet but on a cold night the steam would make it very obvious what I was doing.
After nine months of this, the privet hedge gradually withered, and with it my interest in any more romance.
Madeinchertsey 