Family Traits.

Family Traits 6th March 2018



Most families have a trait or an oddity that passes through the generations.

My family has a very good share of these.

Some of these are simply tangling up words, ‘ Malaproppisms’ I think they are known as.

My mother had this ability with knobs on; she could utter a whole sentence with every word starting with the wrong first letter.

I am also blessed with some of this gift.

It was very funny to hear someone else tangling their words in much the same way.

Such as when I was having dinner with my wife Wendy at the Marriotts Care home, which was very close to my home in Chichester.

On the next table sat four old ladies, we used to listen to their stories of their younger days and how, if they could go back, things would be different.

Lillian was a fine singer and would sing along with ‘Smooth’ radio.

Hilda, who was probably the eldest, said.

“ If I had my time again, I would do everything as soon as it became needed, such as paying my bills on time and not putting anything off till later”’

She went on “There is a saying that Masturbation is the thief of time’”

There was a slight pause, then Lillian said.

“ No, Hilda, you have it wrong”

“The expression is ‘procrastination is the thief of time’ “

They all laughed, so did Wendy and I.

Then Molly, who is the quiet one, leaned forward with a barely disguised grin said.

“I think Hilda is right, masturbation is the thief of time”

Then with a chuckle she said.

“I have just worked out it has stolen six months of my life”


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